You Miss It
by freakingenius
Summary: A little drabble I thought up late at night. It's basically about what happens when James stops asking Lily out. (hint from the title, anyone?). 3rd person for James' POV, but first person for Lily's. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please R


His parents died last night. Killed in a death eater attack. He cries himself to sleep, ignoring any calls from his mates to hang out. The next morning, he gets up and takes his usual shower. He puts on his uniform, as usual, and heads down to breakfast ahead of his mates, as usual. he fores his face to arrange itself in its usual cocky smirk, despite how how he feels inside; torn, crushed, beaten, empty. He sees her, bright green eyes scrunching in delight as she savours the floral aroma of her morning coffee.

"Alright, Evans?"

"Potter. Something I can help you with?"

"How about a date?"

"How about a no?"

He forces his face into the same cocky smirk and sits down. As his mates arrive, he greets them jovially, and they think nothing of his strange behaviour the night before. As he leaves transfiguration, later, Mulciber whispers in his ear, "How's mummy and daddy?" and stalks off, grinning maniacally. He stops in his tracks, shock etched onto his face. He skips lunch, choosing to sit instead up in the Astronomy Tower. He doesn't ask her out again, after that. He doesn't smirk, or disrupt classes, and his mates' concerns rise again.

"Mum and Dad are dead", he chokes out right before dinner, "they're gone."

They mutter their condolences, but eventually leave for food, or in Sirius' case, to fuck some random chick. He chooses, instead, to lie on his bed, hangings drawn and tears streaming down his face at irregular intervals. The next day, and the week after that, and the month after that, he doesn't bother flirting with her. It was something he realised that night, that she doesn't care, and he's suddenly tired of it all. He keeps up the laughter and smirks and pranks, but he no longer has the energy to deal with another rejection. He's done with the world.

* * *

He wasn't at lunch. It felt weird, not having him ask you out. He wasn't at dinner either. And payed attention in class. You figured that he was just sick or something. The next morning, he approaches your spot on the table, laughing at a joke Anton told him, and you ready a clever response to his inevitable offer. he plops down in his usual seat and eats without so much as a glance in your direction, or even a word to anyone until his mates show up. You stare at him, and wonder if he's okay. The same thing goes on for days, and eventually days turned into weeks. He turns up to meals, but doesn't interact with you further than asking you to pass the salt. Barely talking to you despite being co-heads. Laughing and joking around with people but never flirting with you or asking you out. You miss it, you realise. You miss the attention, the feeling that he cared. you smack yourself when you think these thoughts. It's Potter. you don't miss him. You don't even like him. And then you catch a glimpse of him working hard in charms, silent. and something within you breaks. You most certainly do miss him, and you most certainly do care about him. You can't help but chuckle at the irony. You hate him while he does it, but the second he stops you miss him like crazy.

* * *

He's sitting on the astronomy tower when you find him during rounds. You don't question why he skipped rounds, and only sit down next to him, stealing his ciggie to take a puff. You ask whats wrong. Tenderly. Like you care. He breaks. He tells you everything. How he feels so empty. You look at him through hooded eyes and make your admission. That you miss him. That you fancy him. That you want to make him feel less empty, more complete. He looks at you in marvel, but all you do is press your lips to his.

* * *

A/N: Just a little drabble. I don't think this is M rated just cos there's a cigarette in there and a single swear word, but if you don't like that, just send me a message and I'll change it. I just thought up on this late at night when I couldn't sleep, and yeah.. Don't expect any updates any time soon, I've got my HSC coming up. For people not living in NSW, thats my end of high school exams, and simultaneously my uni entrance exams so yeah, which is why I haven't updated much in the first place. Thanks for reading, please R&R!


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